It still is fun to watch people suck on television. And it’s even “funner” to watch them get ripped apart.

I know I know. I had my doubts too. I thought after countless seasons of watching tone-deaf, teary-eyed wannabes croak and scream and chant, I’d have had enough. But I guess I was wrong. Because I have to admit, with only a teeny-weeny bit of guilt and shame that I actually enjoyed last night’s American Idol premiere. Simon is as charmingly ruthless as ever. Paula is as zany and all-over the place as one could hope for. Randy is as laid-back as can be … and Kara, the new judge, adds refreshing twist to a been-there-done-that scenario. I hate to say it … but I got sucked in. And I’m pretty sure there’s no going back. Just two quick highlights (slash low lights from the *%$@ show!).

BIKINI GIRL. This girl is a trip. She’s awful. And while Kara and Paula called her out on it … Simon and Randy were blinded by her other assets. Two against two … You know what that means? She’s goin’ to Hollywood.

COWBOY GIRL: Okay, so I actually felt a little bad for this chick. She’s all energetic and annoying and ADHD … and she’s obsessed with judge Kara, but she’s super sweet. And when they tell her she’s not yet ready, she begs, implores, and pleads with them to give her a chance. But the four stone-faced judges don’t crack. Which they did for a few others … But poor little cowboy girl had to wipe away her tears, put on a brave face, and climb back on that horse. 

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