A selection of Simon Doonan’s books

Being around the Onion crowd made me realize that there are approximately about four funny people in the fashion industry, a half dozen max. (And by funny, I mean public-funny. Funny as in funny-insane and witticisms released behind closed doors are entirely different categories.) This small circle includes The Village Voice’s Lynn Yeager, Paper Magazine’s Mickey Boardman, and my favorite Barneys’ Simon Doonan. To get a taste of his delectable self-deprecating witticisms, check out his latest NY Observer piece. Doonan has a few books to his name (in fact I think his outnumber the Onion’s publications) and you should, in my humble opinion, buy them all. Immediately.

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The Onion’s new book, “Our Dumb World”

The Onion isn’t exactly known for its insightful fashion content. And yet, despite the guaranteed absence of sartorial chit-chat I was lured uptown last night to the Onion’s book launch party, where the staff unveiled their latest farcical feat, Our Dumb World. The genius, country-by-country atlas–which will no doubt be placed alongside Jon Stewart’s America (The Book) in bookstores–is predictably wry and witty, but I must say I was a little surprised to see Jordan’s entry plastered with photos of the stylish Queen Rania.

Jordan’s Queen Rania

Clearly her highness–known for her elegance, intelligence, and dedication to her women’s rights and youth foundations–has the power to win over even the most politically jaded writer. (And they’re a tough crowd, let me tell you.)

Cecilia Sarkozy

Speaking of glamorous government figures, let’s all keep an eye on Cécilia Sarkozy, shall we? Those who spread rumors say that the former model and soon-to-be divorced wife of French president Nicolas Sarkozy is on the hunt for the perfect New York apartment (aren’t we all cherie, aren’t we all). Here’s hoping there’s availability in 1040 Fifth Avenue, Jackie Kennedy Onassis’s former address. (Sarkozy, a cool brunette, bears more than a passing resemblance to the Camelot Queen.) The trend-sniffers at NYMag are already on her case, so we just might have another Manhattan-based icon in our midst. Five euros says that we’ll see her front row at the Oscar de la Renta show before too long.

Sarkozy image from CBC News , Rania from Time Inc

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Coco USA, located in New York’s garment district

Yesterday I passed by this handbag wholesaler—Coco USA—and did a double take. The shop’s brassy logo and reference to the Chanel doyenne, whether intended or not, made me cringe a little. The outpost, from what I could surmise before I fled the scene, has zero characteristics in common with the storied French house. And while the designer did once say, “Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening,” it’s highly doubtful that sidewalk sales—of discount vinyl totes no less—were what she had in mind.

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Shopping for fall is an intimidating affair; there’s a maddening amount of items to choose from. In fact, if you keep up to date on all your fashion magazines chances are you’ll thumb through 10,000+ pages full of new trends and “must-haves,” during the August thru November months. Between the excessive options and labyrinthian stores, even the most thoughtful shoppers can be driven completely mental.

Fortunately, the trend-hungry style set—including masterminds behind said magazines—test drive the latest looks long before Everyday Janes, which means we can all benefit from their sartorial experiments. A quick glance at some of recent fashion crowd snapshots—specifically Peter Miszuk’s photographs in Elle.com’s Street Chic section, some of which can be seen below—yields a few shortcuts in the biannual (ok, quarterly for some) race to update one’s wardrobe. Read up, get on with it, and enjoy a fuss-free fall:

Why Bother: The classic leather bomber comes across as being inherently cool, even if you, yourself are not. Plus, the latest cropped & tailored versions works with short skirts, full-leg and skinny-fit pants.

Why Bother: Because they can make you look trendy and au courant even when you’re hiding behind trusty head-to-toe black ensembles.

Why Bother: Same reason as the bold shoe stuff above, but these ’80s flash-backs will keep your legs warm while making you look hot. Good stuff.

Why Bother: A little sprinkle of silver studs gives you instant street cred. Cute sidekicks sold separately.

Why Bother: If you’ve got a fantastic, year-round complexion, flaunt it. Sickly yellow undertone-kids like myself can’t wear citrus shades after August. And oh yeah, carrot will be a great carry-over shade, even after the ‘60s trend simmers down. (Which it will. Or rather, is; depends on what season you’re talking about. Let’s just move on.)

Why Bother: Cuz Chloe does, and that’s all you need to know.

All photos Peter Miszuk, on Elle.com

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The virtual runway show: at left, animations on a green screen, and the final result

I’ll admit it; here at Glam I’m getting geekier and tech-ier by the day—and happily so. SEO, PV, and UV pop up in my daily conversations just as frequently as YSL, LVMH, and D&G do. (Perhaps unsurprisingly, this new vernacular amuses my brainiac beau and befuddles many of my fashion peers.)

So while I’m not a member of Second Life (nor Facebook for that matter; maybe I exaggerated my media savvy status) I got a bit of a thrill yesterday, when I received word that next week, Target is holding a 3-D virtual fashion show to showcase highlights from the Erin Fetherston and holiday collections. The extravaganza—which will be held in the iconic Grand Central Station—marks the first time this spiffy technology is used stateside.

I’d read about the virtual catwalks during fashion week and become instantly intrigued; an informative story about IBM’s version was printed in the International Herald Tribune, a few pages behind breaking news from the real-life runways. But I wondered—as any self-professed style purist would—could a simulation of the catwalk spectaculars woo the fashion crowd in the same way as say, a Chanel or Lanvin show can? (Ok, that’s an unfair comparison. Nothing, save for a performance at La Scala or Lincoln Center can compare to those presentations, but certainly the Grand Central backdrop will add a dramatic quotient to Target’s affair.) Time will tell if the style set will become as enamored with these techy advances as I have, so stay tuned for my post-show analysis.

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American Apparel’s “’70s roller skater”

If you’re as lazy on the Halloween-hoopla planning as I am, you may appreciate American Apparel’s fool-proof, one-stop-shopping online costume guide. This being American Apparel, you won’t find any cute kitten ears or trompe l’oeil t-shirts; instead the festive ensembles echo the brand’s signature hipster come-hither attitude. (And of course, the costume separates are available to buy on the online store.)

American Apparel’s “Hollywood Blvd. Streetwalker” costume

While the cheeky costumes are sure to cheer—especially those who have a costume party to go to and nothing to wear—was especially amused by the non-descript names given to each ensemble. What is obviously a reference to Julia Robert’s Best Role Ever is simply, inadequately titled Hollywood Blvd. Streetwalker. (Could it be that after its many controversies, AA is now prohibited from name dropping lest some VIP get sullied by association?)

American Apparel’s “80s Dancer”

Fortunately, if you’re between the age of, say, 7 and 60, the result of pop culture osmosis should allow you to fill in the blanks yourself. And if it can’t, chances are that a raging All Hallow’s Eve isn’t in your near future; better skip the costume, stay in, grab a few bags of Barbie-sized sweets and just call it a night now.

For more stellar, tongue-in-chic costume ideas, check out Ellegirl

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Dita Von Teese

Regretfully, I wasn’t at last night’s Louis Vuitton-hosted kick-off gala for the Murakami exhibition at the Los Angeles MoCa (my invite must have gotten lost in the post). However, my lack of attendance isn’t preventing me from doing some wall-flower-style speculating about the guests’ attire. Mainly my musings center around a 21st-century etiquette concern: When going to a fashion-sponsored event, should you wear the designer/label of honor? Many would be inclined to say yes, while rebels—like Courtney Love who brazenly sported a studded Burberry dress at YSL’s recent runway show—think otherwise.

Kerry Washington

The Vuitton event seemed to be a 50/50 split: Christina Ricci, Kerry Washington, and Dita Von Teese opted for subdued frocks from the label’s fall line. (Which led me to another question: If you’re borrowing designer duds, why not go all out? Where are all those feather duster gowns?)

Christina Ricci

Alexis Phifer and Kanye West

Meanwhile, Cindy Crawford showed up in a leopard-print Dolce & Gabanna-feeling number, and Kanye West’s main squeeze, Alexis Phifer wore a fantastic photo-print dress (I should know the designer behind this, but I’m blanking right now). The quandary is this: Do you get all brown-nosey and wear whatever bold-face name is printed on the invitation or do you pull on any old party dress and show off your personal style? Where o where is a modern-day Emily Post when you need her?

Cindy Crawford

*All Wireimage 

Technorati Tags: Cindy Crawford, Dita Von Teese, Louis Vuitton, Marc Jacobs, Murakami party,   Moca, Alexis Phifer, Kanye West, Kerry Washington, Christina Ricci

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Gap girls’ tights, $12.50

Granted this is a little off-topic, but I spotted these cuddly children’s tights on Gap.com today. (Actually, at first I thought they were from the Womens section, and I was more than a little concerned about the direction of Gap’s aesthetic evolution.)

I bring them up because I can—just barely—remember when I too had to be tricked into liking clothes. (Why else would a friendly bear face be emblazoned on legwear other than to remind its wobbly, wary-of-all-things-new wearer of their favorite teddy bear?) That stage lasted for about 23 months. Now, years later, I sometimes have to be tricked into buying clothes (self-rationalization is the most persuasive guise) but never into liking them. How bout you?

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A Peter Miszuk snapshot as seen on Elle.com

Models are a special breed, even among the stranger, hipper-than-thou fashion set. They are placed on a high pedestal for a number of reasons, not least of which for their sense of style. During the various fashion weeks, many were photographed in their own clothes, darting around town in between shows or loitering backstage during the lengthy hair-and-makeup stages.

In these shots—the best of which can be viewed on Elle.com, FaceHunter, and The Sartorialist—it’s clear that even fresh-faced catwalkers have perfected the dishabille-meets-disinterested chic. The signature multi-layered look has stayed strong in the modeling crowd—mainly because the time required to assemble the ensemble is virtually nil—and likewise, the whole je ne sais que-aspect is just as tempting as when Kate Moss first pioneered the look during the early ‘90s. While the finesse is maddeningly impossible to duplicate, I thought I’d point a few model-approved styles should you want to duplicate their look:

Phillip Lim’s dress, on Net-A-Porter

Swell’s Tinted Shades

Rick Owen’s Leather Bomber on Net-A-Porter

Frye boot, on Nordstrom

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Kate Moss and an Autumn Cashmere belted sweater

It is—now that the World Series Wis officially over and the cooler temperatures have set in—officially fall; Which means it’s time to take the knits and coats out of deep storage, or as I’m wont to do, buy a bunch of new-and-improved versions. To make the most of those sit’n’shop moments you sneak in during the workday (and you know you do), check out our fall sweater & coat guide. From Juicy Couture cardigans to Marc by Marc’s swing coat, these cold weather treats are sure to keep you looking hot and staying warm. And really, what more could you ask for? (Rockies fans, don’t answer that.)

Katherine Heigl wears a Juicy Couture cardigan

Glam’s Fall Coat Guide

For more, (and the all important photo and shopping info) click here for coats and here for knits.

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