I turned 40 on April 27, but the death of my beloved cat/first love/best friend delayed my desire to talk about it for nearly two weeks. But now I’m ready to reminisce–especially because the photos have been rolling into my in-box and even the shadow of grief hasn’t stopped the evening from being a bright spot in my mind–and one of the best parties I have ever thrown.

My guests may or may not rank it right up there with my backyard Thai feast, holiday dinner extravaganza, annual New Year’s Day party, or alfresco summer movie night, when I make crazy things to eat and admire like this “caviar tree” and bejeweled bouquet. (Instructions for both are at the end of this post.)
Caviar tree:

Bejeweled flowers:

My birthday gift to myself was the freedom to do absolutely nothing other than show up, have a blast, and pay the tab.

If you want to throw a fabulous carefree party that takes less time to plan than it does to get dressed for it, follow these guidelines:

1. Surround yourself with fun people that you love.

past and current Glam.com crew

Make a list of must-attend guests. Leave out people that you’d feel obligated to entertain, humor, or ass-kiss. The number-one reason to throw a party is to have fun yourself, and the best way to start is by celebrating with people who make you happy. Also forget fancy formal invitations. They’re elegant, but they take a LOT of time to put together. Send an evite and insist on RSVPs so that you can plan your libations and menu accordingly.

2. Choose a great location.

San Francisco’s Forbes Island

Your pad may be fabulous, but if you hold it there guess who ends up sweeping up the broken glass and wiping the sticky stuff off of the kitchen floor the next morning. Pick a place where someone else has to do the cleanup.

A restaurant or club is a great option, provided you have the funds or a posse willing to contribute a small fee for the fete. (In this case it’s better if someone else throws the party for you so they have the awkward job of collecting the cash.) Work out the budget in advance for the complete cost for food, beverage, and service. And get specific about the little things: Instruct the establishment not to pour bottled water unless you’ve factored it into your budget (I’ve seen water charges get into the hundreds!). If your location has a crappy or expensive wine list, research whether you can BYO wine and pay a corkage fee. And find out if they charge a plating fee if you bring in your own cake.

If you’re planning on serving appetizers and are holding your party around dinner time, as I did, factor in 7 to 9 appetizers per guest, depending on the size of them. Also expect guests to drink 4 beverages over a 3-hour period–or more if you have a bunch of lush friends like I do.

For my fete I lucked out and found a location that had such intrinsic wow factor I really didn’t need to do anything to make it look more festive. It’s a crazy little-known floating restaurant called Forbes Island that’s anchored right off of the sea lion hangout along Pier 39. Technically it’s a houseboat, but it doesn’t move (other than sway with the tide), looks like an island, and comes complete with an underwater Tudor-style dining room, top-deck lighthouse, cocktail bar, windowed room that I used as a disco, patio, and beach.

It’s a fantastic place that would be tacky if it weren’t so cool, and best of all no one knew about it, which made everyone feel like they were embarking on an adventure as they took the little pontoon boat shuttle to the “island.” (FYI: If you need a great party spot in SF this is it; they don’t charge a fee for the location. They only expect you to spend a certain–and very reasonable–amount of money.

If your location is ho-hum, jazz it up with flowers, streamers, balloons with LED lights in them, or whatever rocks your party world.

3. Hire great entertainment.
I opted for a great S.F. DJ named Mark Malabuyo who played nothing but hip hop at my request. Other fun options could be a fake tattoo artist, jazz trio, harpist who plays rock and roll, a balloon animal artist, dance instructor, or celebrity look alike.

4. Don’t do ANYTHING yourself.
If you have the option, enlist friends or hire someone to do the dirty work so that your only requirement for the evening is to party.

and most importantly…

5. Relieve yourself of any responsibility of playing hostess, making sure others are having fun, worrying if the food is any good, or doing anything else that isn’t exactly what you want to do at the time you want to do it.
It requires that you give up control and perhaps have things not exactly the way you would want them to be if you did them yourself. But take it from someone who planned her own wedding: Perfection is overrated.

Footloose fun is the real key to party success.

FYI: The caviar tree is made of a Christmas ornament tree anchored in an ice-filled punch bowl that doubled as a raw bar. I used wire to make mini bucket handles to hang the shot glasses, and filled them with caviar on potatoes with creamy champagne dressing and served them with mini spoons I grabbed at an ice cream shop (the ones they use for serving samples).

The bejeweled flowers are super easy: Get beads and pins from a bead store and pin one bead in the center of each flower. So cute!

–Erika Lenkert

[tags]entertaining, birthday party, tips, Forbes Island, advice, floral, flower, 40th birthday, tip, caviar service, caviar recipe, how to, appetizers, how many drinks, restaurant, San Francisco, private event, event location[tags]