*Just a fair warning… Please do feel free to skip over this post if you don’t feel like listening to my negative monologue… or if you prefer to watch the movie and judge for yourself.

I saw Grindhouse this weekend… Was it:

Gross? Yes.
Gruesome? Yes
Gratuitous? Yes.
Gut-wrenching? Yes.
Gag-inducing? Yes.
Good? No. Definitely not.

I am absolutely appalled that Grindhouse got such rave reviews! I get what Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez were trying to do, but in my not-so-humble opinion, they missed the mark. Big time. (People were “booing” in outrage. And by people I don’t mean me. For once.)

To clarify… Yes, I was disgusted by the blood, guts, and gore. (Indeed, I had to do yoga breathing and put my head between my legs to stop from passing out.) Regardless, I went into the theater expecting excessive violence and spewing-bodily-fluids-galore… So this is NOT why I disliked the film.

Simply put, I hated the plotlines (yes, I do realize they were supposed to be cliché.) And I was bored out of my mind by the self-indulgent dialogue ala Quentin Tarantino – (quit loving yourself so much- you sick-in-the-head-foot-fetish-having-mother-effer.)

Granted, there were some clever moments… (i.e. missing reels, foe coming attractions, and intentional sledgehammer movie formula clichés – cue the violins and grab for the tissues) but I won’t divulge too much on this or I’ll ruin the only fun parts of the film! (*Again, this is only my opinion… You can stop reading my tirade, if you so choose!)

There is ONE other redeeming element to this film. And that is Rose McGowan. I was never previously a huge RM fan (probably because I never liked Charmed/the WB,) but she just managed to climb her way up my list. She is a  BOMBSHELL. (Especially in Grindhouse feature film #1 of 2: Planet Terror.) With her beautiful shiny brunet mane, her milky smooth skin, those plump red-painted lips, and her very-enviable curve, Miss McGowan looks better than ever in this movie. All I can say is Va Va Voom. She makes me want to cancel my hair touch-up appointments (holy roots) and slather on the SPF 45.  She even manages to make having one leg look super hot!  (Move over Heather Mills.)

That said though, it’s still not worth a $10 ticket. (Not kidding, the manager of the movie theater laughed about how bad the movie was too – once we paid.) *But again, who am I? All the top-notch reviewers tend to disagree with me… So, see for yourself. (OR DON’T!)

xoxo,
Lauren

P.S. *Yes, I am the queen of mixed messages.

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