Be Aware, Choose Wisely.
In order to change, we first need to be aware of how we think and how we speak to ourselves on a regular basis. Before a big job interview does a voice in your head say, “I’ll never get this job, I’m not qualified, I’m not good enough…blah, blah, blah” This kind of self-talk is a surefire esteem sinker. So by paying close attention, you can watch that thought come and then go. Meditation is a great tool for this because by sitting still we quickly notice how busy the mind is and how many thoughts constantly creep in, even though we’re trying to just be still and focus on the breath. We choose to dismiss the many thoughts and continue. Same holds true in everyday actions. Notice the thought, and let it go. You have the power to chose your thoughts and to think differently about yourself (ie: I’m smart, I work well with others, I solve problems–and you will!).

Follow through.
There’s nothing worse for your self-concept than feeling like you can’t achieve something. This may seem simple, but if you say you’re going to do something, do it. Even if it’s as little as telling someone you’re going to call them and actually doing it. Goals or tasks aren’t necessarily difficult, but amazing how easily we let things fall through the cracks and then we sub-consciously feel bad about ourselves as a result.

Be Open to Change and Learning.
If there’s something you don’t think you’re good at, find a way to improve it. My one big fear with becoming the Wellness Editor for Glam was that I have never written professionally before. Yes, I’d been a blogger for fun and I have an insatiable hunger for tools that help people be well. But writing as a career…Whoa. Luckily I didn’t let my critic get in the way and I chose to focus on my strengths in order to get this job rather than my weaknesses. I also enrolled in a writing class so I could improve this skill for myself.

Fake it.
I asked Dr. Brandon, a well-known author, and “the father of self esteem”: Do you think that someone can improve their self esteem just by acting confident? He paused for a moment and said “Yes, I think they could.” How cool is that? You don’t even have to be confident, just fake it enough and you will become such. We believe actors on stage who “walk the walk”. Here are some great ways to fake it:

• Stand up tall (head high, chin level, chest up -without arching your back, of course).
• Speak positively.
• Have a firm handshake (assuming you live in the US where handshakes are important).
• Speak up and project your voice. Talking in this way lets people know you have something to say.
• Smile.

I highly recommend Nathaniel Brandon’s book: The Six Pillars of Self Esteem. It’s been a while since I’ve read it and practiced the exercises each week but they really had an impact on me in a pivotal time of growth.

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